Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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