you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
