He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
