No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
