I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
