WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
