"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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