he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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