So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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