LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
