You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Are we still banned from the library?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
