i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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