About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
