a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
