you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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