I need help removing her.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
