At least make sure they are 18
Why
I need help removing her.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
