I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
