What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
