That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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