Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think people are normalizing furries
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
