my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
