return my video game
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
