I think I am morally bankrupt
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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