wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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