Can i not drive my cunt home
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Im part way to drunk.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Shame - the story of my life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
