Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
