I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
