i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
