Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
