Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There are leaves in my underwear?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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