Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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