I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
