Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
