he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
