the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize