We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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