She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
