thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
