yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
