I want to make a zoo with you.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just googled if crying burns calories
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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