So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
