I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is it because I queefed?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
