Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
