i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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