Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you guys were way drunker than both of me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
