i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize