How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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