Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
