he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I want a musical about memes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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