Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
