i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
