you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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